Sunday, April 26, 2009

Republicans say the darndest things...

The burns!!! I'll never understand why people who don't know what they're talking about think that if they just say something with enough arrogant conviction, it will make it true.

Via Pharyngula and Scanners.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

RIP Bea Arthur

I can only hope that when it's my turn to go there's footage of me singing to drunken aliens to play at my wake.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


"I'm feeling like it's Summer already" edition.

Cheb Khaled - Alech Taadi

(You might recognize this song from a certain late 90s Bruce Willis movie about an element.)

The Aggrolites - Banana

You might recognize this from a show with a magical orange D.J.

Dil Se - Chaiyya Chaiyya

Some Bollywood action for you.

Mahotella Queens - Umculo Kawupheli

I've posted this before, but I lurve it, so deal.

Desmond Dekker - The Israelites


Hrm. Apparently I'm feeling international about summertime.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Hey, dumbass.

The problem, you see, and the reason why everyone is so up-in-arms about the whole issue, is that, with four exceptions, you don't live in a country where people can choose between same-sex marriage and "opposite marriage."

But you know, thanks for playing. Don't call us, we'll call you, etc., etc.

Lookout, the fat lady is pissed!!!

You know what I hate? Whiny skinny people complaining about sitting next to fat people on the airplane.

Because you know what? However uncomfortable those 700 complainers were that United Airlines is claiming to be fighting for with their new no-fatties policy, I can guarantee the 700 fat people they were sitting next to were about ten thousand times as uncomfortable.

Oh, maybe the fatties shoulda thought of that before they gained all that weight, eh?

Here's a similar argument: Maybe poor single mothers should have just kept their legs closed so teabagger taxphobes can avoid having to pay for their children.

Maybe Arab guys should just stay out of the sun until they're pale and can pass for Jewish, and not frighten the nice white ladies so much.

Maybe gay people who wanted to get married should have just acted straight!

Look, reality tells us that, for *whatever reason* there are fat people in this world. And if you really think that being fat is *just* a sign of overeating, sill, in the meanwhile, there are fat people who will need to travel for various reasons. And unless you want to invent a time machine for fat people to travel through at security, so they can stop themselves from getting fat before they get on the plane, then fat people deserve to sit on the plane just like the tall guy whose legs splay out into the aisle, or the broad-shouldered who have to put their arms over the seat, or they crying children who are just as uncomfortable as everyone else, or the cobags who recline their seats all the way back until they're looking up the noses of the people behind them, or the people who drink on the plane and then act really annoying, or the people who deign to be Muslim and obvious about it, or whatever.

Because let's face it, like the security checkpoint dance, this is theatre. The airlines are only doing this so they can continue their fucked-up business model where they fail to charge what their service actually costs and therefore have to overbook their flights and cram as many individuals as possible into every square inch of the plane in order to compensate. Because now, instead of begging for volunteers to give up their seats on overbooked flights, they can merely just point to the nearest fat person and have them removed, to everyone's relief.


How uncomfortable can it possibly be to remain in contact with someone's thigh and upper arm for a few hours of your life? As uncomfortable as having to slide your kneecaps slightly out of place so your long legs will fit in the tiny space left by Reclining Joe in front of you and sitting that way for six hours? As uncomfortable as desperately twisting your hips into the inexplicably immovable arm rest of the window seat (seriously, why does the arm rest in the middle raise up, but not the ones at the aisle or window? I'd bet the majority of the space issues would be relieved if people could raise those armrests if they needed an extra inch to spread in to) until you have an armrest-shaped bruise in your flesh, just because the dude sitting next to you keeps giving you a little dirty look every time your thigh deigns to brush his?

Please, 700 skinny whiny plane passengers, realize, you're being played. Your disgust at the existence of fat people is being used by the airline industry to hide their shady business practices. Soon, they'll shrink the seats even more and the only people comfortable will be Kate Moss and/or eleven year-olds. Don't come crying to me when that happens.


Rant over.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Totally Awesome

I thought this was cute. Also, I want that dress Joy Nash is wearing.

I wish I could make my mom sit down and watch every Joy Nash video on the internet. Every time I talk to her she insists I'm secretly dying of diabetes and won't admit it because I'm punishing her for being a bad mother.

Honest. She wants me to go on the Dr. Phil show with her. I'm half tempted.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

What is it with this show?

I'm talking about the talent show "Britian's Got Talent."

Apparently Britain is populated by unassuming schlubs with amazing singing voices. I'm probably the last person on the internet to hear of Susan Boyle. But damn! Way to make me crack my jaded cynical facade!

Of course, we all remember Paul Potts. I've watched this clip literally a trillion times, and still get choked up.

What do we have to offer in return? A hot lady who shoots arrows with her feet. Which is makes me want to cry in a different way.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy chocolate egg eating day

Remember kids, Jesus died for your sins.

OMG. My face hurts from laughing.

NSFW explanation for those more pure of form than I:

Seriously, lol.

Don't worry, Republicans. Just breathe through your collective noses.