Oh Barf...

Wow. I don't know if you're mother has ever mentioned this, but being pregnant kind of sucks. I'm beginning to wonder when I'll enjoy eating again. Right now my favorite foods are popsicles. That's what I can eat now.

I don't want this to became a big pregnancy blog, but I've pretty much lost interest in current events. So, instead of writing about my daily pregnant annoyances (besides, babyfruit is doing a much better job of it than I would at her blog,) I will again blog about movie trailers that piss me off.

Before I do that though, I will take a moment to complain about the stupid dumbass things men at my job have started to say to me. First, there's my supervisor, who keeps feeling the need to share all the horrible things his poor wife went through when pregnant. I've heard all the stories, from her mood swings after progesterone shots, to six weeks of bedrest (which doesn't sound too bad to me right now) to how she gained 100 pounds, to that time she got toxemia. I'm sure his wife is glad he's sharing this with a stranger, but it's even nicer to be able to hear it all myself!

Then, there's the random comments from all the other men I work with, from "I'll bet your husband is glad to be away from you during the day!" to "Do you feel like throwing up right now?" to "Jeeze, I'm glad I have a penis!" I'm going to start wearing a sandwich board that says 'Yes, I'm pregnant, now just shut up!'

Anyway...

First on the chopping block is Memoirs of a Geisha. Not only does this movie look like the usual smarmy Hollywood pablum, but it casts a bunch of Hong Kong actresses as Japanese. Am I the only one annoyed by this? Do Americans realize there's a difference between Chinese people and Japanese people? These women don't look or sound remotely Japanese. It seems odd. (Not to mention that one of them has blue eyes, but that might be some sort of plot point, I don't know.)

It's not like we don't do this with other nationalities. I never really realized that most French people in American movies have English accents until I saw Luc Besson's The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc (also a truly horrible film) and noticed the French people had French accents. Weird.

Next: The Hills Have Eyes. Poor New Mexico. Not only does most of the country think we speak really great English for being from Mexico, but now they're going to think we're a bunch of irradiated freaks. Maybe now they'll think twice before building another toxic waste dump here, eh? Really, though, New Mexico doesn't look like this. It looks much more like The 3 Burials of Melquiades Estrada. And I am willing to bet that if there's a gas station in the middle of nowhere it's not being run by a white guy.

Oh well. At least the annoying victim family was on their way to California instead of moving here from California.

How about Mel Gibson's new one, Apocalypto. Dude, bad title. That sounds like a third-tier Spiderman villain. But doesn't it seem to me that this trailer carries suspicious overtones of blaming the un-named South American civilization for being conquered? Am I being too liberal-sensitive? And how much do you want to bet there's a gay villain in this movie?

Last but certainly not least, there's The Da Vinci Code. This just rubs me all sorts of wrong ways. Like, how many History Channel specials debunking this bullshit book does America need to be exposed to before they let it go? What's with Tom Hanks's hairdo? And who keeps paying Ron Howard to make these horrible movies?

Lest you find me too grumpy and hormonal about all this, there are of course some movies coming out I do want to see. V for Vendetta looks cool, although it does have "from the creators of The Matrix Trilogy," written on it. And the trailer for The Fountain has me practically foaming at the mouth, desperate to see this movie. So it's not all bad.

Now, I'm off to have a popsicle.