Sunday, July 27, 2008

Dude! Are they bringing back the Muppet Show?

maybe it's because it's 3 a.m. (wow, I'm not even watching Lost tonight, why am I still awake?) but these (linked in comments at Natalia's) literally made me laugh until I cried.

(World Wide Web? Is there a way to put this on just the American Part?)

ZOMG. Epic win.

The Happy Me! Meme

Natalia tagged me with yet another cool meme, this one of her own design in honor of her birthday. The idea is this, in Natalia's words:
Basically, the idea is to tell the world 8 facts about your life that you find heart-warming or facts that cheer you up on dark days or some cheesy crap like that. It’s a way to make you feel good about your life, no matter what. The facts can be as random and seemingly innocuous as you wish them to be. I chose 8, because it’s my favourite number.
Here's mine.

1. I'm on stage with the band in this video. You can see me and my friend Ginger dancing at several points, most notably giving our best "Hey ho, Let's Go!" at about 1:40.

2. When I was in the ninth grade, I got the high score on the Galaga machine in the lobby of the dollar movie theatre, and it stayed there for the next couple of years!

3. I was born while my parents were in college. My mother, who was in labor for 48 hours, took a psychology final the day after I was born, and aced it. Also, right before her water broke she was bowling. At like 2 a.m.

4. Я говорю на русском языке лучше чем Вы. (Unless you're Natalia, of course, lol.) I started studying Russian in high school because everyone else was taking Spanish, and I just had t be different. Of course, knowing Russian in New Mexico is fantastically impractical. And when your entire father's family is from Cuba and speaks Spanish, well, let's just say I have to explain a lot that the second language I speak is Russian. Yes, Russian. But, funnily enough, my grandfather somehow speaks Polish.

5. On my father's side I'm descended from Generoso Campos-Marquetti, the first black person to hold political office in Cuba. On my mother's side, I'm descended from mob-connected mayor of Philadelphia Frank Rizzo. Oh, and the mob.

6. I know what it's like to get a standing ovation, and to move people in your audience to tears with your performance of words you wrote yourself. Kind of a good feeling.

7. I make stuff. Another good feeling I know is when soneone comes up to you and says "Ooohh, where did you get that?" And then you smile coyly and say, "Oh, this old thing? I made it my own damn self."

8. I get to share my life with my husband and my daughter. Cheezy and cornbally, I know, but there it is. I just can't imagine a happier, funnier, more beautiful, more exasperating, more supportive, and more wonderful pair to call my family.

Serisously, look how great he is.

abbie 2 year old 013 And look how great she's turning out!

There we go. I tag Goody, Lilo, and Daisy, and whomever else feels so inclined.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008


Estelle Getty, who managed to capture exactly what it's like to have an Italian mother.

"If I breathe and it bothers you, then put a pillow over my face!" and "I'll get the melon baller!" are especially familiar.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008


Look, I made a purse!

Materials include: the cardboard box some Pampers Cruisers came in, the December, January, and March issues of VOGUE, a piece of fabric trim from the Wal-Mart craft department, a buckle, needle and thread, Elmer's glue, and about 30 coats of polyurethane varnish.

purse 004

purse 002

purse 015

My crappy pictures kind of fail to do it justice. In real life it kind of has a Lagerfield-at-Chanel-esque, pop-art quality. This is actually purse mark II. Purse mark I failed in the construction phase. I'll post how it fits together if anyone is actually interested.

This gets me interested on the difference between fashion/design, which I think is great and fun and full of wonderfulness, and the fashion industry, which, to say the least, has its issues. It's like the difference between Tim Gunn on Project Runway and Tyra Banks on America's Next Top Model. I do think that sometimes this difference gets glossed over in certain feminist discussions/circles, which is Yet! Another! Reason! why I'm meh on feminism as a movement lately, albeit a very frivolous reason.

(And if anyone says "strawfeminist" I will throw up, thank you.)

Monday, July 21, 2008


Anyone know how to tell if your vintage Gucci bag is really a vintage Gucci bag?

And now I am hopelessly addicted... Lost.

Yep, that's right, I was the last American to never have seen Lost. For the past few nights I've been watching old episodes streaming (surprisingly good quality, natch)on And now I must see them all. It's filled with all the horrible cliche characters from hysterical woman to magical negro, yet somehow I cannot look away.

I'm about halfway through season 2. Please nobody spoil me.

I have just three questions. How come Claire opens her mouth sooo wide when she yells at Charlie? And how come Jack has to punctuate ever single sentence with a little incredulous head nod (very annoying)? And how come Dimples McGee is so hot? You know, asshole guy? Sawyer? Totally hot.

Also, malevolent cloud of cgi dust? Not too scary. But shoeless, muddy, legs soundlesslycreeping though jungle foliage dragging a teddy bear on a string? Somehow completely scary. Like, Bob in your livingroom scary.

By the way, if you don't get that reference then you can't be my friend anymore.

In celebration of me finally joining the rest of the universe in keeping up with a basic pop cultural literacy, I will now complete the Sawyer nickname thingie from months ago.

...and my hilarious Sawyer nickname is apparently "Twiggy." Heh.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Dear gas station on the corner,

Please just go ahead and charge four bucks a gallon for gas. Because 3.99 and 9/10s is not fooling anyone. That one tenth of a penny is not all that stands between normal, functioning civilization and a Road Warrior-like apocalypse. So, just let it go.


Slightly OCD Vanessa.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Zombie Meme!

This may be just the best meme ever. Tagged by Natalia.

You are in a mall when zombies attack. You have:
1. One weapon
2. One song blasting on the speakers
3. One famous person to fight along side you.

1. You know the big fuck-off gun they had in Aliens? The one you strapped to your body?

That one.

2. Stigmata by Ministry

Industrial doesn't get much better than that, IMO.

3. Mr. Spock.

I know that's not a real person, but there's no such thing as zombies, so I figure it's flexible. but seriously, hat more could you ask for in a zombie-fighting companion? Superhuman strength, logical, able to formulate plans of escape, oddly hot, wouldn't hesitate to put you out of your misery should a zombie bite you.

There you go. I tag Jack, Ilkya, and Evil Mommy, if she feels like coming back from summer vacation.

Um, yeah.

So I've taken a bunch of deep breaths, counted to ten, and feel better now.

Sorry for flouncing off like a big baby.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

I'm taking a break from the internet.

Some seriously stupid shit went down somewhere, and I am feeling the need for a summer vacation.

The internets and I, we are on a break. I'll see you in awhile.

Saturday, July 05, 2008


As a movie geek, I can't tell you how awesome this news is.
The cinematic world was today celebrating the rediscovery of missing scenes from German director Fritz Lang's legendary silent film Metropolis - thought lost for 80 years, until they were found in the archive of a museum in Argentina.
Now all I need to know is how soon the Criterion Collection will be charging 80 bucks for the uber-version of Metropolis. And how soon I can just Netflix it instead.

Friday, July 04, 2008

Happy 4th.

I had an odd moment of affection for Americans the other day, standing in a Wal-Mart, looking down an aisle of nothing but ketchup, mustard, and relish, and smiling to myself imagining all the summer fun family barbecues those plastic bottle of goop represented.

It sounds like a war zone in my neighborhood right now, with all the (illegal) fireworks going off. A neighbor is having a serious party, with tons of sparklers and those sparkling fountain things and tejano music. Sounds like fun.

I myself have a sort of somber patriotism. I feel like America to me is your best friend who always gets too drunk at the bar and you have to spend all night looking after them. And sometimes they throw up on you, and they never remember that the next day, and even if they do they're too embarrassed to apologize.

But they're your best friend, so what are you going to do.

And now it's starting to rain out. The war zone noises have the cats all weirded out. I hope Abbie doesn't wake up.

This clip feels appropriate tonight.