Saturday, April 23, 2005

Does this mean Elaine Benes will get slutty?

The spongeworthy scale has just become more lenient.
The over-the-counter Today Sponge will start reappearing on store shelves this summer, maker Allendale Pharmaceuticals said. The company won the needed government clearance of its production facilities, Food and Drug Administration spokeswoman Susan Cruzan confirmed.

The earlier producer, American Home Products, stopped making the sponge in late 1994 when it encountered manufacturing problems and decided it was too costly to upgrade its plant. American Home Products is now Wyeth .

The sponge was made famous by the television comedy "Seinfeld," when the character Elaine hoarded the devices once they were no longer made. She then used the birth control method only when she deemed a man "spongeworthy."
I feel like buying some ust for the kitsch value.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005


Don't know how I feel about the new Albuquerque group-blog Duke City Fix.
Seems cool. Seems a little yuppie-outsiderish, too. (An article on the Frontier? C'mon, that's like saying your favorite rock band is the Beatles and ice cream is really that too snobby of me to say?)

Still, it's nice to see some local action. And nice looking design, too.
and speaking of drinking...

Bacardi 151
Congratulations! You're 144 proof, with specific scores in beer (100) , wine (116), and liquor (113).

All right. No more messing around. Your knowledge of alcohol is so high that you have drinking and getting plastered down to a science. Sure, you could get wasted drinking beer, but who needs all those trips to the bathroom? You head straight for the bar and pick up that which is most efficient.

The Alcohol Knowledge Test written by hoppersplit on OkCupid

Heh heh...yes, that's me, the chubby ex-punk with the half-empty bottle mumbling Tom Waits songs to herself...lovely, I know... now will someone tell my mom to leave me alone?

I am...let's say...a Rubenesque woman. I am not only several inches taller than anyone else in my family, but compared to the tiny elfin women I am related to, I am a stout giantess.

I am not so large that I would have to buy two seats on an airplane, but I possess what is called a "ghetto-booty" by my colorful, slender little sister.

Which is why this story delighted me.
CHICAGO - Packing on the pounds is not nearly as deadly as the government thought, according to a new calculation from the CDC that found people who are modestly overweight actually have a lower risk of death than those of normal weight.
So, no more hassle from my mother about being fat. Okay???

Now if only I didn't drink, smoke, undercook my beef, or eat alot of spicy tuna rolls...
I am shocked...shocked!

So they picked the Nazi to be pope. Why am I not surprised?

Monday, April 18, 2005

I feel bland...

Your Linguistic Profile:

70% General American English

20% Yankee

10% Dixie

0% Midwestern

0% Upper Midwestern

i should go into broadcasting with a non-accent like that...

Via the Little Hedgehog, queen of quizzes.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Embrace the Unitarian Jihad!

My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Reflection.

Get yours.

Inspired by this very funny recent column. And found via Jeanne.
Murder is murder

What sort of a hypocritical bastard makes this kind of statement?
"Because I believe that abortion is murder, I also believe that force is justified ... in an attempt to stop it," he said in a statement handed out by his lawyers after he entered his pleas in back-to-back court appearances, first in Birmingham, Ala., in the morning, then in Atlanta in the afternoon.

Rudolph, 38, worked out a plea bargain that will spare him from the death penalty. He will get four consecutive life sentences without parole for the four blasts across the South that killed two people and wounded more than 120 others.
Hey, asshole, guess what else is just like murder? Murder is!

The fact that this man was considered some sort of folk hero by those in the deep south makes me wonder whether or not the culture there is as backwards as that of Hamas, or the extremist settlers in the Occupied Territories, or the Talibanis and Wahabbis who twist their religion to oppress 50 percent of the population, or of African societies who mutilate the genitals of little girls with dull razors, or genocidal maniacs in Rawanda, or countless other examples that we like to talk about here in the United States.

America grows its own brand of terrorism. And its own brand of cultural insurgency that is okay with violence. The people who wore Eric Rudolph T-shirts are as evil to me as those who honor suicide bombers as 'martyrs.' Maybe even more so, because at least the Palestinians have an honest beef. What did gay people or women seeking their right to full medical care ever do to Eric Rudolph?

Tsch. It really really burns me up inside.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Christian death rituals creep me out

I'm sure the Pope was a nice guy if you knew him personally, but seeing his dead body lying there like that, on a pile of pillows, like he's fake 'asleep' really gives me the creeping willies.
Television images gave the public its first view of the pope since his death: lying in the Vatican's frescoed Apostolic Palace, dressed in crimson vestments and a white bishop's miter, his head resting on a stack of gold pillows. A Swiss Guard stood on either side as diplomats, politicians and clergy paid their respects at his feet.
To paraphrase Bjork, human behavior is weird. Why do we do this strange corpse-worshipping? Do you think (to anthropomorphize for a moment) animals watch us do these weird things and wonder what the hell we're up to?

Right now, on Channel 27 in Albuquerque, New Mexico, I am on TV!


Saturday, April 02, 2005

Terri Schiavo, finally, RIP

I'm so glad this poor woman finally gets the ending to her life she wanted and deserved. And I totally admire her husband for the bravery it took to stand up for her desires against years of libel and slander

And I know some will think I'm going too far in saying this, but shame on her parents. Seriously. It's one thing to hope beyond all rationale that your daughter will recover from her debilitating injury, but it's another thing entirely to ignore her wishes and beliefs completely.

The Schindlers completely infantilized their daughter, and publicly humiliated and demonized the man she had chosen to spend her life with. They blatantly disregarded how she wanted to live and die. They treated her like a child.
The press also downplayed references to a 2000 trial at which Schiavo's extremely conservative Roman Catholic parents conceded that even if Terri had told them she would never want to be kept alive with a feeding tube, they would not have honored that request (an acknowledgment that goes a long way toward explaining their actions in the case).
Emphasis mine. I'm sorry, but it's that sort of smothering parental "love" that probably helped contribute to the bulimia that killed her.

And triple-dog shame on the circus of protesters who not only robbed Terri Schiavo of the sort of quiet, dignified death that she wanted, but also ruined the last hours of other hospice patients who happened to be unlucky enough to be next to the spotlight.

Anyway, it's over, and now we can move on to the next "celebrity" death-watch, or trial-watch, or whatever scandal we like to collectively dwell on instead of what's really happening in the world.