Cures for Hyperemesis-induced depression

So here I am, hunched over the keyboard, feeling both nauseous and starving at the same time. I'm pretty miserable. I can't sleep as the bed is currently taken up by two cats and a snoring husband. I can't watch TV because, well, it's mind-numbingly boring. And besides, lying on the couch gives me heartburn.

So the internet must entertain me.

There are plenty of things to lift me out of my doldrums. Is it wrong of me to take such joy in the movie trailers for Happy Feet? Seriously, it's like March of the Penguins but without the parts where some of them die. And with tapdancing. And penguins twirling around going "Woo!" If this baby I'm having doesn't come out grooving to old Stevie Wonder songs, I think I might be disappointed.

Then there's this. CBS newswoman Laura Logan kicked some serious ass on CNN the other day. When asked as to why more good news isn't being reported on from Iraq,she basically responded, "Because I don't work for the Ministry of Truth, motherfucker!" Seriously, you go. Not since Anderson Cooper went off on Bill Maher's show after Hurricane Katrina have I seen such awesomeness on the part of a journalist.

Of course the most fun thing to do online is buy stuff. (Ugh, did I just type that?) Or rather, not buy stuff but look at stuff you would never buy yourself. So I have spent hours creating a baby registry at Target.

Okay. Here's the link. But you don't have to buy me stuff, really. I don't know if I'd actually need any of this crap. Pretty much the only people I know who've had children are my parents, and I feel weird asking them.

On a less consumerist whore note, can I say that I find the protests in LA over the new immigration policy totally inspiring? 500,000 people, holy cow. Kind of restores one's faith in Americans.

hey

Anybody in the Albuquerque area looking to unload an old beat up sofa? I'm looking for a new porch couch.

I need to reinstate the laid back morocco porch (nesting), and need a slouchy sofa I can cover and toss some cushions on.

Stressed...

So here is the crazy notion running through my pregnancy-hormone addled brain, keeping me from tolerating work, fun, or anything.

Is it selfish of me to quit my job and go back to school with a baby on the way? Am I depriving my child of financial resources by not wanting to work full time for a big whorish corporation?

At a meeting this week, it was actually suggested that we strive to make ourselves the Starbucks of _______(insert industry here that I will not name so I don't get fired.) So you see my problem. But I make enough money to support a child with plenty of amenities.

Or, would that be setting a horrible example? I can't imagine looking a kid in the eyes, telling them school is important and they should work hard and follow their dreams if I didn't...for more money. Besides, does the world really need another infant yuppie in a 700 dollar stroller wearing designer clothes?

(Not that I'd refuse a Bugaboo Frog if someone gave it to me...)

As a offspring of two people with masters degrees, I can't help but be ashamed that I never finished college. And I don't want my child to feel that way either.

But how selfish is it of me to deprive a baby of resources just because I don't want to be a corporate whore anymore? Sigh. I need the punk mommy version of Tyler Durden to come along and set my priorities in order.

It is spectacularly hard to wrap my brain around this problem. It's similar to the whole stupid 'opt-out' issue that's been all over the feminist and mother blogs since Betty Freidan died, but on a completely different level. I'm not wanting to be a stay-at-home mom, but I still want to combine personal fulfillment (finishing my degree and getting a job in my actual chosen field) and providing for a family.

Should this even be considered a feminist issue? To me, this has nothing to do with being a mother as opposed to just being a parent (gendered vs non-gendered). Or am I just being naive? My husband does not seem to be struck by this dilemma. No one is asking him questions about what he's going to do after the baby comes.

I don't know. Any other mothers out there who had a similar freak-out with their first child? Any other fellow corporate whores feeling the need to break free? Surely I'm not the only one.

What's going on here?

So, what was weirder:

The Italian all-clown marching band playing an off-key version of The Village People's YMCA while 100 women wearing wedding dresses form a giant dove during the Olympic closing ceremonies?

Or fake Mary J. Blige not quite hitting the high note on "PEEEEEEMMMMP!!!" while women in hot pants and afro wigs did the interpretive ho dance in the background during the Oscars last night?

All I know is, the profession of pimping poses difficulty for many.