More Pregnancy Whiney-ness

Lately I feel less like I'm having a baby and more like I'm turning into one.

Aliza over at babyfruit posted this a while ago.

I am convinced that I've figured out the 3rd trimester already. These 3 words sum up how I've been feeling this last week:

Sleepy

Weepy

Pee Pee

That's it. There isn't more to say right now. I am satisfied that I've got it all figured out.

Preach on, sister. But there's more! Let me expand.

On being sleepy...I am fucking tired, yet I have this bizarre insomnia. It's like I've become anorexic but with sleep instead of food. (Note: it's 3:15 a.m. and I'm posting this, yet on the verge of falling asleep.) I'm assuming it's anxiety related. Either that, or it has to do with the fact that there is literally no position I can be comfortable sleeping in. On my back and my legs fall asleep. On my side pins my shoulder and activates my ulnar nerve palsy, which wakes me up. Lying down alone gives me heartburn.

On being weepy...bursting into tears is my new response to any emotion. Happy? I start crying. Sad? I start crying. Angry? Crying. It's frustrating. I get disgusted with myself. Which of course makes me cry.

Pee pee...umm, I'll leave that one undiscussed.

Let me add some though. How about hairy? The hair on my head has never looked so thick and luxurious. Unfortunately, neither has the hair on my face. I'm more glad than ever I invested in an epilator.

Or how about wobbly? My joints are so loose I feel like I'm barely holding together anymore. My lower spine does this thing where it sort of collapses flat when I lay down, which is of course horribly painful if I try to turn over. My hips feel half ripped out of their sockets. My pelvis kind of rolls around when I walk. It's weird and vaguely unsettling.

Speaking of vaguely unsettling, I am starting to feel guilty about the lack of bonding transcendence I'm supposed to be feeling whenever the baby moves. What were cute little pokes last month have become full-body rolls and tumbles. It's really unsettling. I know I'm supposed to get this earth goddess look on my face and glowingly feel a sense of loving awe or something, but I keep visualizing a giant fish flopping around inside my abdominal cavity.

Naturally all of this complaining makes me feel like a big whiney baby, especially when I know there are a jillion women trying to get pregnant who would give anything to feel what I feel right now. I feel all kinds of guilty about it.

Which of course makes me want to cry again.

Sigh. I think I will try for sleep now.