I made these points on a thread at Feministe, but it's languishing in moderation, and I think this is the point that nobody gets in all this feminist sexwar crap so I'm posting it here, reworded slightly for clarity. And spell-checked!
Since ginmar violated the cease-fire, let me explain what really bothers me about 'examine your life choices,'? especially coming from someone with the opposite choices of mine.
What is the goal of the examination supposed to be? What conclusion am I supposed to come to? When certain matriarchs of feminist blogtopia say that marriage, fashion, beauty, and several other things that I indulge in are things I do without any possible autonomous choice in the matter, and these are things that she does not do, how am I supposed to feel about myself?
If I'm not being shamed please explain to me why not. Because I don't get it.
But most importantly, it'?s a moot point because it doesn'?t matter how you dress, or what shoes you wear, or if you get married or only buy big black effective toolkits or remain childfree for life or whatever. Because the patriarchy is going to oppress you anyway. You can't save yourself by not buying Vogue, or by shaming the women who do buy Vogue.
For evidence, see Biting Beaver's situation.
So all this harping on women like me who got married to a man and had a baby and indulge in fashion is totally pointless. To paraphrase Noelle in comments, dress however your comfortable (and I am dressed comfortably, thank you. My body size and shape means I'm more comfortable in skirts and my short calves and flat feet means I'm more comfortable wearing shoes with a heel) and live your life in a way that exploits the least amount of people possible while fighting for change in things that matter. Like, for instance, improving access to emergency contraception and abortion, or working for higher pay, or better education, or better child care, or getting universal health care, or working to stop domestic violence or whatever.
These issues affect all women, no matter what color their tool kits are.